Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
