I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
