I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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