apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
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