for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
