Already got asked if we're dating
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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