I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
