Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
