dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
