I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
why do cheetos always look like penises
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Randomize
