bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
this hospital has no fireball
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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