just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
