Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
