That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
