Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I bet he comes in French.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
