my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
