I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
