I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize