he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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