worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize