you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
