She said her name was "party"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
