I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
