I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
