we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
