He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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