I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
