I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
