all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
