Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
