I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
