White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
