all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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