Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
