I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize