She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I think my moral compass just broke
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
