i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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