Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
