shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
