before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize