never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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