I smell stomach acid.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize