Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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