My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Randomize
