I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
