So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
