I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
