to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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