i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
