I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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