I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It was confusing and full of hummus
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
