in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
