Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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