We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
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