u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
