There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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